Real case study - Impact on couples when one goes into a nursing home

My 94-year-old stepfather has just been placed in respite at an aged care facility by his daughter after spending 5 weeks in a rehab hospital, with a view to permanent placement. His daughter had him sign the admission papers to the aged care facility and I am concerned whether this is even legal given the unconfirmed diagnosis of dementia. The rehab centre is saying he has dementia but we have had no official statement of this from any doctor. He is currently on a level 4 home health care package which started June 2013 as a lower level, that he does not seem to pay anything for and has a balance in his home care account of $42,000 (which he will lose when he goes to permanent care). His daughter and son-in-law are making decisions on his welfare without consulting my mother - his wife, in collusion with the rehab centre and aged care centre. The daughter only looked at 1 aged care facility before putting him in respite. My Mother does not want him to stay at this centre where he is currently in respite as it is too far away for her to drive (she has a restricted driving licence and will probably lose it soon when GP assesses her). I hold a POA and Enduring Guardianship for my mother and am able to access her bank accounts via the various banks websites. My concern is that his daughter wants to get a POA for her father and my mother will be left with no income as his substantial (defined benefit scheme) State Super goes into an account in his name that she cannot access. They have cash assets of over a million dollars between them so receive no pension. I am going overseas in 5 days and have organised my mother to have her own home care package (level 2)- but I think she will have to pay maximum fees and will be using her own bank account which only accrues interest. Should I be organising a POA for my mother so she can access his bank accounts and the superannuation payments.

Sorry to read about your situation. The absolute best thing you can do is seek professional financial advice from someone who specialises in aged care finances. Not only will they be able to advise on the best approach with your mum’s husband’s daughter, but they know the aged care finance system back to front and know things relevant to your mum’s specific situation. If you are looking for a recommendation we believe the below two are very good. Both also take on clients nationally (you don’t have to be based in Sydney for example.)

1. Sydney Aged Care Financial Advisers, who can be contacted on 1300 659 6772

2. Affinity Aged Care Financial Services, who can be contacted on 02 8078 0888

Asking friends if they have an Aged Care Financial Advisor is another good way to find a good Adviser. When an event happens (like the one that resulted in your mum’s husband being in rehab hospital for 5 weeks) things can move very quickly and hospitals can put quite a bit of pressure on the payment to respite care. Of course, the patient/ resident doesn’t need to stay at the respite care location, and they are free to move to a different aged care home. Perhaps that could help explain why your mother’s husband’s daughter didn’t consult your mother in his move but you’re right that he is free to move somewhere else and it seems reasonable to think his wife should be included in that decision. We hope this helps.